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For Javier, my father provided stability, friendship, and a guiding hand. One wore her military dress whites, the other a grandpa gay happy new yers strapless tea-length gown with a full skirt. And part of it stems from just how he's wired. It wasn't love at first sight, my father would later tell me. Explaining my dad's new husband to my kids. First came Hans, a kindly German immigrant and gifted interior designer.

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